ONE YEAR, ONE MONTH

I have been the mommy of a one year old for an entire month now! It is crazy to think how fast the time has gone and to think about where I was one year ago at this time. Slowly adjusting to motherhood, with long sleepless nights, so in love with this little boy, but so out of my element. Many people do not know about my fight with PPD (Post-Partum-Depression). I don't talk about it much, and the only reason I do today is to hopefully share a small piece of my experience to someone who is going through the same feelings. 

This is really hard for me to do. Our society doesn't share much of what it feels like to have PPD and often these most sensitive of feelings get characterized merely as post baby blues. But Post-Partum Depression is real. It has taken me almost an entire year to get back on my feet. There have been days where the fight was so hard I couldn't see how it could possibly get better. But that is where this little picture comes in. Look at this adorable, happy child. Seeing this picture is a reminder to me to fight every day for the good times and to know that it ALWAYS gets better.

There are many things to do to get help. For me right now, pictures are the strongest reminder of what I am fighting for, and a reminder of how good my life really is. I am truly blessed to be a mother. And would do the whole experience again in a heartbeat even if guaranteed to have the same post-partum experiences. I would also like to share a quote that has lifted me up when almost nothing else could:

"Motherhood is not a hobby, 

it is a calling....

It is not something to do if

you can squeeze time in.

It is what God gave you time for."

-Rachel Jankovic,

from Neil L. Andersen's "Children"

Nov. 2011 Ensign